Friday Bodyspeak

I heard it.  “Call and cancel all my appointments!  I just can’t do it today.  This is non-negotiable.”

It had been a while since my body spoke up.  Except for a few minor grumblings, there have been no major complaints since that red hot hot hot chili back in early September.  I stalled for time, “I’ll get right back to you.”

Tried to start the engine, but only heard coughing and sputtering.  Not enough juice in the battery to turn it over.

Started through the diagnostic checklist from the top.

Brain?  Dead.  The computer is on but the screen is blank.

Tummy?  Tummy? Tummy?  No answer.  It is a really bad sign when there is neither bile nor guile.

Intestine?  No gas.  No get up and go.

Legs?  No spring in my step today.

It spoke again, “I feel it in my bones.”  Oops, forgot to check bones.  “I will hurt you if you get me out of bed.”

And then I knew, today is Friday.  There is only one word for a day like today, “Ugh!”

Welcome to a collegiate Friday, aka Ughday.  Professors and students alike stumble through the day, exhausted.

Student absenteeism is greatest on Friday.  It isn’t due just to Thursday night partying.  A busy week of study has worn down even the strongest students.  Even if they drag themselves to class, their brains are lifeless like a dead sea.  No original thoughts are birthed on Fridays.

Professors usually come to class on Friday.  To call off class would look too much like playing hooky.  Despite being there, they are as dead as any student.  Friday classes are never characterized as energetic, engaged or inspiring.

Students and professors both hear Friday Bodyspeak.

My last class of the day started at 2:40.  My students had some energy.  We hummed through the lesson of the day.  Brains were percolating.  Original thoughts enjoyed new life.  I was feeling good.  Friday Bodyspeak was no more today.

Then at 37 minutes into the class an amazing thing happened.  Each student’s brain congealed.  At precisely the same instant.  Bright college students became zombies.  Eyes blinked, but no one heard me.

So I dismissed class 30 minutes early, what else was there to do?  As I turned off the lights and closed the classroom door, Friday Bodyspeak whispered, “Gotcha once again.”

by David Albrecht

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